The loss of independence in dementia is one of the most frightening aspects of the disorder. No one chooses it, and it is not easy to cope with - either for the person becoming dependent, or the person who is now providing care. Even so, some people are able to go through this with impressive dignity. There is no formula for how to do this, but what seems to work best is actively working on a sense of calm, being receptive to counselling, and keeping lines of communication open. A sense of spirituality also seems to help.